- Be genuine. No one is going to be liked by everybody they meet and trying too hard to win people over often simply causes contempt. Being genuine and true to yourself means that you are able to be relaxed, natural and appear more comfortable with yourself. People intuitively detect a genuine persona and consequently, are more likely to be relaxed when they are with you.
- Be honest. Admit if you have made a mistake. Honesty is often the best policy where relationships are concerned. So confess to a mistake, take responsibility for things that have gone wrong and people will usually like and respect you for that. Also, be honest if you don't want to do something. We all have to be flexible and compromise at times for the benefit of a relationship, but being honest at the outset is often the best strategy. Others know where they stand and can make arrangements accordingly.
- Listen, with interest. Being genuinely interested in others is appealing. Reflecting back what you have heard, asking questions, being keen to know more encourages people to relax with you and feel comfortable in your presence. They will value your company and consequently be pleased to see you. Resist the temptation to always bring the conversation back to yourself. Sometimes listening and focussing attention on the other person's situation is important and respectful.
- Remember what you have been told. Make a note of birthdays in your diary, recall children's names, where they have been on holiday, if a member of their family has been unwell. It makes a difference and people feel valued, important and respected when they are treated with regard. You have to make an effort and invest in relationships in order for people to like you.
- Make time for people. Many of us are very busy. Balancing work, family, household chores and a little 'me' time can seem an impossible task. Getting people to like you requires spending time with them. Even if you just drop around for a coffee or spend thirty minutes on the phone, that time is a commitment to the other person and demonstrates that you are interested in them, want to talk with them and care about nurturing the relationship.
- Honour arrangements. Some people appear to make arrangements, only to cancel them if something more appealing comes along. People need to feel valued and important. Apart from anything else, it is bad manners to cancel existing arrangements unless there is a real emergency that needs attending to. Respecting arrangements shows appreciation of the other person and the desire to spend time together.
- Be interesting. Make an effort to be up-to-date with what others are discussing. Even if it means watching the occasional soap opera or reading a gossip magazine, if that's what your circle spend time discussing, then it's worth making the effort to know something about what is happening. Read the editorial pieces in the weekend newspapers, watch the news or a documentary so that you can join in with discussions on current affairs.
Often the most popular people are the ones who visibly enjoy spending time with others, take people as they find them, refuse to indulge in idle gossip and are easy-going and fun. When we trust another person to be loyal and demonstrate integrity, then we start to relax with them and be ourselves. Similarly, when we behave in that way towards others we will find that they like us too.
- Be honest. Admit if you have made a mistake. Honesty is often the best policy where relationships are concerned. So confess to a mistake, take responsibility for things that have gone wrong and people will usually like and respect you for that. Also, be honest if you don't want to do something. We all have to be flexible and compromise at times for the benefit of a relationship, but being honest at the outset is often the best strategy. Others know where they stand and can make arrangements accordingly.
- Listen, with interest. Being genuinely interested in others is appealing. Reflecting back what you have heard, asking questions, being keen to know more encourages people to relax with you and feel comfortable in your presence. They will value your company and consequently be pleased to see you. Resist the temptation to always bring the conversation back to yourself. Sometimes listening and focussing attention on the other person's situation is important and respectful.
- Remember what you have been told. Make a note of birthdays in your diary, recall children's names, where they have been on holiday, if a member of their family has been unwell. It makes a difference and people feel valued, important and respected when they are treated with regard. You have to make an effort and invest in relationships in order for people to like you.
- Make time for people. Many of us are very busy. Balancing work, family, household chores and a little 'me' time can seem an impossible task. Getting people to like you requires spending time with them. Even if you just drop around for a coffee or spend thirty minutes on the phone, that time is a commitment to the other person and demonstrates that you are interested in them, want to talk with them and care about nurturing the relationship.
- Honour arrangements. Some people appear to make arrangements, only to cancel them if something more appealing comes along. People need to feel valued and important. Apart from anything else, it is bad manners to cancel existing arrangements unless there is a real emergency that needs attending to. Respecting arrangements shows appreciation of the other person and the desire to spend time together.
- Be interesting. Make an effort to be up-to-date with what others are discussing. Even if it means watching the occasional soap opera or reading a gossip magazine, if that's what your circle spend time discussing, then it's worth making the effort to know something about what is happening. Read the editorial pieces in the weekend newspapers, watch the news or a documentary so that you can join in with discussions on current affairs.
Often the most popular people are the ones who visibly enjoy spending time with others, take people as they find them, refuse to indulge in idle gossip and are easy-going and fun. When we trust another person to be loyal and demonstrate integrity, then we start to relax with them and be ourselves. Similarly, when we behave in that way towards others we will find that they like us too.
Susan Leigh is a Counsellor and Hypnotherapist who works with stressed individuals to promote confidence and self belief, with couples in crisis to improve communications and understanding and with business clients to support the health and motivation levels of individuals and teams.
Further help, advice and articles are available. For more information see http://www.lifestyletherapy.net
Further help, advice and articles are available. For more information see http://www.lifestyletherapy.net
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